The Gruelling Garden

Survival of the fittest. You see that every day in the garden, and not only among plants and bugs. Every spring I barely survive my own enthusiasm. This is the time of year when I'm wishing the snow away and eager to get out into the yard, where the first thing I'll likely do is strain something. I do it every year. At the first opportunity I'm out there poking away at the compost heap to see if it moves. If it does it means the frost is out of it, so I run to the shed and fetch a fork to give it an enthusiastic turning. Then I spend the rest of the week walking funny and cursing the compost heap, when it's really my own fault for letting myself get out of shape.

I do try to stay fit over winter by shovelling snow, but there's only so much to shovel and this year it hardly snowed at all. When this happens I soon start to lose the little bit of muscle tone I have. When there is a lot of snow still around, I'll sometimes haul out Wally, my wheelbarrow, and use him to move it from the pile beside the driveway to the backyard. This way I keep in reasonable shape and at the same time help the garden by extending the snow coverage for my more tender perennials.

Of course, the neighbours aren't too sure what to make of this. Clearing snow off the driveway may be acceptable -- even encouraged, but putting it in a wheelbarrow to move it around the yard does raise a few eyebrows. I know they think I'm nuts, but a fresh lettuce tossed over the fence in summer helps keep down the rumours.

What I don't understand is, the neighbours may roll their eyes at me doing a little honest toil, but they think nothing of someone jogging down the street in the middle of winter wearing pink spandex, shrink-wrapped around too many big Macs. Maybe it's the colour. Maybe I shouldn't wear the yellow ones when I'm getting my workout, even though they match Wally perfectly.

As each year goes by I'm finding harder to stay in shape, so I came up with a great idea. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. This winter I cleaned up the garage and turned it into my very own garden gym. It was easy. I tied a couple of bricks to a shovel, and I hooked up a rake to the wall with a bungee cord. Now I can stand there for hours pretending I'm digging the veggie garden over or raking the lawn.

That's not all. I developed a whole range of exercises to simulate yard work. One of the harder jobs in the yard is pushing a wheelbarrow. I wanted to bring Wally in to wheel around the garage but there isn't enough room. I solved that by substituting a couple of pails for Wally and I carry them back and forth instead. When I get the hang of it I'll put something in the pails instead of pretending Wally's empty.

Another exercise I discovered quite by chance. I was in the gym doing some bungee raking, and hadn't quite got the hang of it. I had the rake pulled to the limit when it slipped out of my hand and boinged around the garage. Dangerous? I'll say. It slapped me in the head a couple of times before raking everything off the shelf where I store all my odds and ends. Two hours of simulated weeding as I cleaned them up was easily as effective, and exciting, as the real thing.

Yes, the garden gym works great; however, being cooped up in the garage without the distractions of nature I've discovered a whole new perspective on what I'm actually doing to myself out there in the yard every spring. After a few weeks of working out I've come to realize how much stress I actually put my poor body through.

No wonder it's always grumbling. I now believe that gardening is just as grueling as any sport. Why, maybe gardening should be in the Olympics. That would be so thrilling. Can you imagine the spine-tingling tension of a topiary competition, or the excitement of competitive weeding? And let's not forget the sheer titillation of questionable garden clothing.

But then I suppose there'd be the usual scandal over the use of illegal growth hormones (that will be a biggie, I'm sure), and we'd have to watch those hokey interviews with the medalists: "I owe it all to my pony, Jenny, for providing me with what it takes to grow healthy plants." Meanwhile the medalists will all be sitting there holding shovels with trademarks showing and wearing shrink-wrapped spandex with the logos of huge fertilizer companies plastered over them.

Maybe not. Maybe I'll skip today's workout and give the compost heap a poke instead -- ooh, ow.

Seed starting for beginners

Can’t wait! Just can’t wait, and I know I’m not alone. My recently arrived seeds are sitting in the refrigerator and I can’t wait to start them. Sure it’s too early for most seeds, but the worst thing that can happen is the plants will take over the house before I’m able to plant them outside . . .

The answer of course is to read the instructions on the seed packets and wait. When it says start four weeks before my last frost (24^th of May, more or less) it means I shouldn’t start them until the 24^th of April — two whole months away. Here are a few tips and reminders.

Propagation Containers:

Anything that can hold a couple of inches of soil and has drainage holes in the bottom will do. For individual containers, use coffee cups — plastic or Styrofoam are fine, and yogurt cups are great too

No need to be fussy about containers as long as they’re clean and have drainage holes in the bottom. It’s also a good idea to poke or slice a few holes in the sides too. It allows for better drainage and lets oxygen get to the roots, which is very important. If you’re recycling last year’s containers, be sure to wash them well to prevent the spread of any fungal diseases.

All containers will need a plastic cover to keep up the humidity level. However, the cover should not be totally airtight and is best removed as soon as germination occurs. If you can match a plastic cake cover up with a pot the same size you’ll have the perfect propagation chambers, or you can slip a large one over a number of individual pots. Plastic stretch-wrap over the pots will also do the trick, but poke a couple of holes in it. Clear plastic produce containers work well.

Soil Mix:

A soil-free mix is an excellent medium for starting seeds, especially if you’re a beginner. These mixes are usually made up of peat moss with vermiculite and perlite added. Regular potting soil is a little too heavy and if not reasonably sterile (potting soil is not actually sterilized) it will allow the dreaded damping off fungi to develop. This is what causes seedlings to keel over and die for no apparent reason. There is a reason: they’ve been attacked at the base of their stalks right at the soil surface. Avoid using garden soil for this same reason.

Once the seedlings begin to grow well, some liquid fertilizer will be necessary, especially with the soil-free mixes, but check the instructions and use at half strength or less. Too strong and there’s a chance the little guys will be burned.

Light:

It’s essential for plant growth, but not for starting all seeds. The seeds of calendula, gazania, delphinium, pansy, verbena, and vinca are typical of those that prefer to be left in the dark until they germinate, but check daily because they will need light as soon as they do pop up. A simple LED grow light fixture suspended about 100cm or so above the seed trays is a perfect light source. Use a timer so that the lights are on for around fourteen hours each day. If you intend growing a large number of seedlings, use a small fan to provide gentle air circulation.

Starting seeds on a window sill is fine, but never in full sun. A container with a clear plastic cover placed in full sun will get hot enough to poach an egg. A south facing window with sheer curtains is as good as you can get.

If seedlings begin to look like giraffes on stilts it means they’re not receiving enough light; likewise if they begin clawing at the window. Rotating the pots will straighten them up. If your windows are poorly located for good light, don’t give up, focus on growing shade loving plants such as impatience.

Don’t forget to move seed trays away from windows in the evening as it will get too cold there. Correct temperature is very important for seed germination. Most seeds, but not all, germinate best at a steady temperature of around 20 - 24C. After germination, the temperature lower.

Watering:

Keep the growing medium for seeds and seedlings moist but not wet. Watering from the bottom up will cut down the risk of damping off disease. Use room temperature water and check at least once daily, because seeds will not germinate if the soil is allowed to dry completely.

Seeds:

Another reason seeds don’t germinate is because they’re planted too deeply. In fact, some seeds need only be scattered on the surface. A tiny seed, germinating too far down, will use up its food store before it ever reaches the light where it can begin making its own food through the process of photosynthesis. Follow the instructions on the seed packet closely. If there are none, or you’ve lost the packet, plant at varying depths as deep as two to four times the size of the seed. This will ensure a degree of success.

There’s lots more to starting seeds, but if you follow these basic instructions you’ll be successful, maybe even too successful. Now, what you should do is clip and save this article until it’s the correct time to start seeds — unless you can’t wait. But just remember, the house can get pretty steamy when it’s brimming with enough tomato plants to attract Campbell’s attention.