Tuesday, January 3, 2023
Winter Seed Sowing
Wednesday, November 16, 2022
Poinsettia Panic

One hundred and seventy three already. That’s how many poinsettias I’ve encountered so far this Christmas season. I have my rules — these have to be live poinsettias and not in a store or greenhouse, unless the store is displaying the plant as part of a seasonal display.

Here’s what I say:
First remove the foil from around the pot or poke holes in the bottom otherwise
excess water will rot the roots. Locate in a sunny window, but not against the
glass. Maintain at a daytime temperature of 18 to 21C and if possible, move to
a cooler place at night, but no cooler than 15C to avoid root rot. Avoid
exposure to hot or cold drafts as these can cause premature leaf drop. Water
well when the surface is dry to the touch. Finally, poinsettia is not
poisonous, but I wouldn’t eat it. 175, 176,177 . . .This all started because of my aversion to poinsettias; it was getting worse each year. Don’t believe me? — read previous columns where I’ve complained about the boring ubiquity of these plants, the sheer numbers, the environmental impact of all that wasted potting soil, the energy required to grow and transport them, and don’t even mention the plastic pots that end up at the dump. Grocery stores charging five cents for a plastic bag? I think they missed a huge opportunity here. I say supply your own pot.
Trouble was, I was beginning to be perceived as a Christmas Scrooge, a real grouch bent on spoiling the pleasure of others. I tried not to, but whereas I used to only frown and grumble, I was beginning to openly sneer at these — ahem — plants. Oops, there I go again. I’m sorry. I am trying. Hey, at least I call it the Christmas season and not “holiday” season.
Anyway, the answer was counselling sessions, where I came to realize that unless I was to become completely ostracized by society I would have to learn to like poinsettias. Clearly they’re not going to go away. It was suggested I turn it into a game or challenge and it’s helped considerably. I can now smile when I see a poinsettia, knowing that I’m further along on my quest to set a personal record.
It’s such fun, and it makes Christmas shopping much more pleasurable. I now enter stores full of hope that there’ll be a poinsettia on display — there always is. Naturally, my face lights up immediately, which has the effect of cheering up the frazzled sales assistant, thereby resulting in especially good service.
When I attend a Christmas function, I no longer get annoyed when a whacking great green and red object has been plonked in the middle of the table, completely obscuring my dinner partner, causing us to bob and weave like a couple of boxers as we try to have a conversation. Now I can hardly contain my enthusiasm. I even leave my table and explore the room, anxious to ensure I count them all.
I appear to be the most gregarious, happy person present as I visit other tables, smiling and chatting, saying things like lovely, great, or terrific, even though under my breath, I’m counting away. My obvious enthusiasm then gets me into numerous conversations about how to care for poinsettias.
Saturday, October 29, 2022
Halloween Cats in the Garden
Roses are a lovely plant,
A long-time favourite of my aunt
They flower for her every day
More since uncle passed away
He’s buried in the flowerbed
Since aunt whacked him in the head
It wasn’t just a simple spat
She loved her roses; he loved his cat
Each day aunt would prune and hoe
Each night that cat would boldly go
Tension daily grew and grew
Until one day aunt’s temper blew
With bulging eyes and face all red
She grabbed a shovel from the shed
And swung it like a baseball bat
First at uncle, then the cat
She tenderly laid them to rest
Poor uncle and the furry pest
She buried them real close to home
Against the fence in sandy loam.
Where aunt sometimes now plucks a bloom
And ponders on the victim’s doom
She oft regrets that it were so,
But oh, those roses, how they grow
Yet sadly Aunt had been misled
The hated cat still was not dead
Nine lives it had to haunt her still
No more the roses would they thrill
They grew so well you understand
Fragrant yes, but not so grand
Wafting on the evening air
Stench only of the rotting pair
No more the favourite of my aunt
No rosewater to decant
Just haunting eyes o’er her bed
From a disembodied head
A ghoulish purring in the night
Now wakens aunt in awful fright
Her nightmare roses ooh ooh ow
Are thorn-like claws meow meow
. . . David Hobson www.davidhobson.ca
Sunday, October 2, 2022
No bedtime stories in this garden
It’s an old term from when that was the idea, that gardens should be put to bed for the winter. My gardens are already in bed, they never left it. What’s a flowerbed if not a bed for plants. Same with a bed in the vegetable garden, or a raised bed.
What the term meant was ripping out all the summer annuals,
hacking down perennials and ornamental grasses, and the one thing that does symbolize
bedtime, is wrapping evergreen shrubs in burlap blankets. Most of this is unnecessary.
Rather than consider this time of year as the end of the season, a time to put
things to bed, I prefer to think of it as an extra early spring because so much
of what we do now has an impact on next year’s garden.
Certainly, we should take care of anything that would be
damaged over winter. Bring all tropical plants and any houseplants indoors
before they’re damaged by frost. Better still, do it a couple of weeks ago to
avoid shocking them. Dig up and store any tender bulbs like begonias, calla and
canna lilies, and dahlias. Turn off all outside faucets, empty rain barrels,
and drain hoses. Any planters that could crack if frozen should be emptied and
stored dry.
Then there are all those leaves to deal with. You could make a huge pile as I do, rotting them down to use as mulch next summer. If they’re on the lawn, providing they’re not extra deep, run the lawn mower over them. Once shredded, they’ll break down fast and be gone by the time you’re ready to cut the grass in May. Leaves are simply free fertilizer and a valuable resource, crammed with nutrients that recycle naturally. No one rakes leaves in the bush, but plants still appear in spring. If they fall on flowerbeds, so much the better. We often say keep the crowns of perennials clear, but providing the layer of leaves isn’t dense, the plants usually manage to thrust their way through as they would in the wild. But should you bury them knee deep in packed leaves they will have a problem sprouting in spring.
One place you can pile the leaves is around and under shrubs, especially those that aren’t the hardiest. Butterfly bushes for instance, usually die back to the ground, but in a hard winter they don’t always recover. They’ll love any extra protection.
Shrubs that are hardy don’t need any help so there’s little
point in wrapping them. If you’re challenging the zone with tender ones, then do
wrap these in burlap, but tough old conifers shouldn’t need anything unless
they’re subjected to salt spray.
Finally, it’s a good idea to clean and rub down garden tools with oil before winter, though I often feel it’s me that could use an oiling and a rub down after hard work in October, which is why my garden only gets a bedtime story.

